Just released: 2008 DNC Schedule of Events

Posted by DarthDilbert at 2/05/2008 06:13:00 PM

7:00 pm -- Opening flag burning
7:15 pm -- Pledge of Allegiance to the UN
7:20 pm -- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm -- Non-religious prayer and worship (Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton)
7:45 pm -- Ceremonial tree hugging (Darryl Hannah)
7:55 pm -- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm -- How I invented the Internet (Al Gore)
8:15 pm -- Gay wedding planning (Rosie O'Donnell)
8:35 pm -- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm -- Our troops are war criminals (John Francois Kerry)
9.00 pm -- Memorial service for Saddam and his sons (Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon)
10:00 pm -- Answering machine etiquette (Alec Baldwin)
11:00 pm -- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm -- Collection for the Osama Bin Laden Kidney Transplant Fund (Barbara Streisand)
11:15 pm -- Free the freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay (Sean Penn)
11:30 pm -- Oval Office affairs (William Jefferson Blythe Clinton)
11:45 pm -- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm -- How George W. Bush brought down the World Trade Towers (Howard Dean)
12:15 am -- Truth in Broadcasting Award (Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore)
12:25 am -- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am -- Satellite address (Mahmoud Ahmadinejad)
12:45 am -- Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton (Nancy Pelosi)
1:00 am -- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:05 am -- Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am -- Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am -- Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

Update: 27 August 2008 / 8:01PM
An anonymous visitor from Longmeadow, Massachusetts (24.61.28.165 [Comcast Cable]) sent a message at 7:34PM describing this as "One of the most offensive, bigoted things I have ever seen."

You're welcome. By the way, I'm offended that you're offended. M'kay?